09. Goal Setting Mistakes High Achievers Don’t Even Realize They’re Making

Have you ever set a goal with the best intentions, only to find yourself struggling to follow through? You're not alone. As a business coach and hypnotherapist, I've seen countless high-achievers fall into the trap of overly ambitious planning.

In this eye-opening episode, we explore why our goal-setting efforts often fall short and how to bridge the gap between intention and action. I'll share insights from my work with clients to help you understand the disconnect between your conscious and subconscious mind when tackling new challenges.

We often approach new goals with the mindset of an expert, creating detailed plans based on ideal outcomes. But here's the catch - our subconscious doesn't operate on logic. It works on patterns, emotions, and automation. This mismatch leads to self-sabotage and frustration.

Key Takeaways:

• Understand why New Year's resolutions often fail
• Learn to differentiate between outcome plans and starting plans
• Discover how to work with both your conscious and subconscious mind

I'll introduce you to a powerful strategy that has worked wonders for my clients:

• Create your "expert" plan - the ideal outcome
• Develop a realistic starting plan as a beginner

By acknowledging your current skill level and capacity, you set yourself up for sustainable progress and success.

Practical Tips:

• Set a 90-120 day timeframe for building new habits and skills
• Start with low-pressure goals to build momentum
• Embrace the learning process and allow for mistakes

Remember, whether you're aiming to transform your body, launch a new business venture, or master a new skill, progress takes time. By aligning your conscious goals with your subconscious patterns, you can create lasting change and achieve what you once thought impossible.

Ready to revolutionize your approach to goal-setting? Tune in now and discover how to harness the power of your whole mind for unstoppable success.

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Transcript

 Welcome to the Courage Success Podcast.

Today we're talking about goal settings. There's one area in your life that you want to get better. You always are working on something. I know you overachiever over planner and the high performer that you are. But here's the thing with goal setting. So whenever we go out and pick a new thing that we want to do, we create a plan.

So we say like, okay, I have a specific plan, or I'll make a plan, and you create that beautiful detailed plan with all the things that you want to do. And your brain feels like this is it. You know, I've done already. I laid out the plan. What's the problem? And just like the New Year's resolution that we love to make, and you know, we're a couple months into the new year.

It's springtime for being honest with ourselves. Where are we with that? M, most of us have already forgotten about it. And what happens basically in our mind is we create a plan based on ideal outcomes, based on ideal inputs. So we all have a thing that we are good at and. I'm gonna pick, you know, just to use something as an example, I'm gonna pick a language.

So let's say I want to learn a new language. Mm. Might be, I don't know, let's say Spanish. Okay. So I have learned different languages. So I speak English, German, the ex Yugoslavian languages or language, however you wanna. I called them and Dutch, and so let's say I want to learn Spanish and I make a plan and my mind makes a plan as if I am going to learn it in English as if I would understand everything is if I knew what I needed to do, how I needed to do the grammatic structure, the pronunciation.

All of it. And here where we fall short, we fall short. We are creating something new, but with the mindset of something that we know where we are already, you know, an expert, but when we already know how that works, what it works, what do we need to do or what it took us to get there. And the reason why that is difficult for our brain to understand, and this is how we don't have a conscious problem, we have a subconscious problem.

Our subconscious, it's not logical. Our conscious is logical. Our rational brain or subconscious, it works more on. Patterns, automations, emotions, feeling states, and it doesn't understand why something is difficult. And then our conscious mind goes into judging and complaining and belittling and ruminating and overthinking.

And this is how we self-sabotage our own goal setting of reaching our goals. So what I have been doing with my clients that I wanted to share today is so. We use both, you know, both parts of the brain, the conscious and the subconscious. And so there are two parts of it. So the first one, you create that amazing plan.

So let's start. Let's say you want to show up on camera. You want to create an offer you want to collaborate with. You know, a big brand or with a big company. So you create that plan and then that plan is basically the outcome plan. This is where you already have done it. Know what it is, how failed did it have understood what it took you to get there.

And then from that, you know, ideal plan that we thought. Is our starting plan. We create a starting plan. So thinking about as a beginner, like where do I start? How much time do I have? What's the capacity? What is my skill level that I have in this new field? You know, some want to, you know, you want to start editing or you wanna create, you know, something new in a different country.

There are so many things. For you to look at, to learn, to acquire that, it's impossible for you to actually know how much time and involvement it takes. So first you create consciously the plan, your ideal plan that you think like this is the plan. You know we're gonna execute it. We all have done it. But that's not the starting plan.

This is our end plan, our outcome plan. You can give yourself a timeframe. You know, with my clients, I have suggested that we do 90 days or 120 days, so we work, you know, we have a leeway of three or four months of working towards that plan. Building the habit, building the skill, building the repetition, and learning about the skillset needed to do that, and testing us and improving us.

You know, we aim high at the beginning when we start to plan, but when we start working, we aim low enough that we start working, start showing up, start producing whatever it is that we want to produce. And through time and repetition, we built that plan. This is one of the key components that I've seen work with our resistance, with our internal resistance.

'cause your subconscious mind, it wants to protect you. It's very lazy. It wants things to run automatically. So we need to. Interrupt that. We need to pause that system so that we built a new pathway in how we do things and how we achieve things. And we are all different. You know, some of us needs a little bit upbeat energy in order to get going.

Other times we need to slow ourself down. We need to slow ourself down so that we can catch up. To becoming the person that we want to, achieving the dreams that we want and achieving that goal. And when we measure ourselves with the outcome of where we want it to be, and constantly are looking like, okay, I haven't done it.

I haven't achieved it. Let's say you want to transform your body. You want transform your body in a week, not in a month. It takes time. So while you know. Having the goal and having a plan or starting position, like what is the lowest level that you can commit without self-judgment, self-deprecation, criticism, where can you support yourself?

Where can you be in a courageous. Mode where you can experience yourself in and allowing yourself as an adult to learn something new, to make mistakes to discover, to going back to the wonder of learning something, of learning the skill. That's one of the fundamental things that I teach my clients to do when we work.

One-on-one. So to summarize this episode for you, I want you to think about one thing where you are the expert at, you know exactly how you do that. Okay? And now think about something that you want to acquire. One to learn your genius mind that you know wants to help. We will create a plan for you to learn the new thing as if you are the expert at, and that plan is flawed.

If you take this road, it's the road to misery, avoidance, procrastination, perfectionism, over planning and overthinking. That's not what we wanna do. So he's what we want to do instead. So, you know the thing that you are an expert at, think about somebody completely new. Coming into that field that have never done it.

They want to learn it. Where do you start with that person? That's the approach I want you to have when you think about starting something new. You are an expert at the think that you know best, but you are complete beginner in another field and your brain is delusional enough to think that you can just.

Switch into learning the new skill, but you cannot. So your nervous system will stop you. Your emotions will stop you, and your emotions are always stronger than your thoughts. So this is why we want to work together consciously and subconsciously in order to be the most useful, most fun, loving, enjoying, and purposeful in our life.

Removing a lot of that resistance, a lot of that anger that we have towards us when it comes to creating a life and creating a business that suits you and it suits your business. A few of you call to reach out and I can help you. Have a beautiful rest of the day. Bye.